S3E4 - Yoni Massage Training

In this episode, Jess (The Playful Domme) shares an advanced Yoni massage training session, delving into the nuances of providing therapeutic, healing touch. Jess explains that Yoni massage is not purely a sexual experience but a holistic practice designed to help women release tension, reconnect with their bodies, and heal past emotional blocks. She guides listeners through techniques for creating a safe and nurturing environment, including breathing exercises, gentle touch methods, and honoring personal boundaries. Ella (The Virgin) reflects on the power of touch to foster deep connection and emotional release, emphasizing the profound sense of empowerment and self-awareness that comes from engaging with one’s body in a supportive setting.

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🔥SHOW NOTES🔥

[00:00:00] - Introduction to the episode and disclaimer for mature audiences.

[00:02:00] - Jess and Lisa share how they set up the private masterclass for male clients, focusing on Yoni worship and external massage techniques.

[00:04:00] - Lisa’s perspective as the receiving partner: how the experience made her feel open and receptive.

[00:06:00] - Jess explains the importance of non-sexual touch to build trust and relaxation in the receiving partner.

[00:08:00] - The contrast between men who are confident and those who are nervous when trying new techniques; Jess provides feedback to help them adjust.

[00:10:00] - Lisa discusses how her feedback helped guide the men in improving their touch and creating a more pleasurable experience.

[00:12:00] - A detailed look at the different approaches men have to Yoni massage: from trying to mimic sex to using slow, tender touch.

[00:14:00] - Jess highlights the importance of going slow and the effect it has on the woman’s body and pleasure.

[00:16:00] - Discussion about the feedback from the men after the session, including what they learned and how their confidence improved.

[00:18:00] - Lisa reflects on how she has learned to communicate her desires and feedback, and how this helps in both sexual and non-sexual relationships.

[00:22:00] - Closing thoughts on the transformative power of learning to touch with care, tenderness, and intention.

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🔥RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED🔥

• The Playful Podcast Website: www.theplayfulpodcast.com – For after-hours content, workshops, and community access.

• The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin: A foundational resource for understanding boundaries, power dynamics, and mutual pleasure.

• FetLife: A platform for kink and BDSM communities.

• Pussy Masterclass: A private training session offered by Jess, teaching men the art of Yo

Transcript

Jess the Playful Domme: 0:12

Welcome to the playful Dom, the Poly Wife and the Virgin Podcast, where we share our most intimate stories, experiences, and details of our love lives, our intimacy lives, our play lives, and giving you the opportunity to gaze in and get a glimpse of what could be possible in your life as well. As we share our stories, our adventures, we weave in tips. tricks and techniques to help build your confidence, boost your courage and give you the opportunity to ask for what you want in your life. Welcome to the podcast. Oh, and just a couple of quick thoughts before we get started. One, we are just everyday people. We are not professionals, licensed therapists, anything like that. This is for edutainment purposes only. This is not medical advice or legal advice, financial advice, none of the like that. Listen at your own discretion. And this is for mature audiences. We're going into deep subjects and sharing deeply about intimacy and all the things about that. So just notice who you're around and let's go. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest. episode of the playful dom the poly wife and the virgin podcast where we share our intimate stories of adventure and love and intimacy and all the things that help keep our lives juicy and vibrant and connected. Today, I'm Lisa, the poly wife and myself, Jess, the faithful Don are regaling Ella, the Virgin with our, uh, adventure that we had in offering private one on one, well actually one on two or two on one, two on one, uh, pussy masterclass to some of my male clients. And Lisa got to be my, Pussy bunny and be on the receiving end as I demonstrated and trained men on the art of pussy worship. Lisa, how are you feeling from that experience?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 2:29

Dehydrated is the best way to put it.

Ella the Virgin: 2:34

Oh my goodness.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 2:36

We ended, we ended up doing three sessions, but we photographed a fourth. So I had many, many multiple orgasms.

Ella the Virgin: 2:53

So how, so how did you guys, how did you guys, how did you guys set it up? Am I curious as to how, how does this, tell us about what happens. How

Lisa the Poly Wife: 3:02

Well, what, from my perspective, um, the, uh, the client, the, the guest, um, had an opportunity to meet both of us, um, in a couple of cases, we said, just sat down and, you know, had a glass of wine to just sort of relax. And I, the, the bottom line is these men are walking in and touching a. touching the intimate parts of a woman they have never met, talked to, or created any kind of connection or intimacy with before. So there's some level of, um, uh, an abbreviated getting to know you process.

Ella the Virgin: 3:46

Right.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 3:47

So, um, and I'm not awkward because I'm used to being seen by many. I, you know, playing in a dungeon being not on display necessarily, but you know, people have looked at seeing all positions, right? So, um, I have no hesitation. So for me, it's just like, okay, we're going to get started. I whip my clothes off and I lie down on the bed and I spread my legs and, you know, Yeah, my pussy is just right there for the visual. Um, so we had a, we didn't do it on a massage table. We did it on a mattress on the floor and, uh, Jess would go first and sort of explain what it was that we were doing. I started of course on my stomach because it is essential massage and the idea of. What I was emphasizing to one of the less experienced, um, guests was the fact that, um, when you're doing this and you may be doing it with a person that you're not very familiar with, the more comfortable, um, the man can, or top, I'm going to use top and bottom to make it a sexless, um, Um, act, um, experience the top, the more the top can touch a bottom in not in a non sexual way, the more relaxed that person can feel right. And trust it and recognize, and there was, um, in the, at the start of it, one of the things that, um, well, Jess, I'll let you say how it is that you, uh, introduced the concept and started the process. I don't want to put words in your mouth.

Jess the Playful Domme: 5:50

Uh, yeah. So I've been working with men for quite a while now. And when I'm talking to them, I'm sharing about pussy massage or womb massage and how amazing it is. And how, you know, sharing about Ella's experience and you know, how she, which is all men needed to know this. So I've been like planting the seeds for all of this for a while. And so when Lisa. Was available to come up and and join me. It was awesome to have her there because then I have a bunny I call Lisa a bunny that I can I can practice on it can demonstrate so they can see rather than me trying to explain and show and then receive and give feedback and you know, and I I'm not as honestly, I'm not as open as Lisa is amazingly enough, um, I'm actually quite quiet, uh, in the bedroom, if you can believe that, uh, and so having Lisa there, I mean, it was so eye opening to have her in the experience. It showed me. Actually quite a bit because I'll, and I'll mention this in a little bit more in detail, but a few nights ago I did a couple's massage and the wife was very quiet and it was very hard to read her. And we didn't have much direction and, uh, And so Lisa being open and vocal and she laughs and giggles when she's about to come. So that's like awesome. It's super, super fun. And because she's been able to guide and give feedback and being so open and engaged, you can see it in her body. It's very, it's open and she's having all these orgasms and she's laughing everywhere. And like, it's just, it's a joyful, joyful experience. And then to have the contrast of the wife who couldn't really speak. She's, she can talk like she has no problem talking. We talked plenty beforehand, but once she got into that space, she got very quiet. And so it was very hard to, to, to. Be able to accurately read her and see what she likes and what feels good and what doesn't, and she's not vocalizing anything. And so it was super eyeopening to me. It made me so appreciative of Lisa for the work that she's done to get to a place where she is available. She's open to having men who she doesn't know to touch her. She trusts me to like. Guide them along the way. She knows that I'm not going to put her in any kind of situation that would have her uncomfortable. And so I, I decided to put up, what would it be like to have a offer of private class in pussy massage so that it can be just the client and then just done myself so that it can be a more curated experience. I can, I can, we can gauge or where he's at and his level of understanding or, you know, whatever. And. Lisa is both encouraging and then she also gives great feedback. And so it's super, super helpful. So I put the ad up, there were several men who are interested. A few of them took the bite. And they were like, alright, let's let's do it. And there were three men one, the first one, I've seen several times. He's in his late 30s, married for a long time. The other guy, the other man was 62. I've trained him, trained so many girlfriends on him, um, in my work. And then the third man, and he's widowed. And then the third man is 29 and single.

Ella the Virgin: 9:45

Oh, wow.

Jess the Playful Domme: 9:45

So what was really cool was like, even though they're from, I mean, they're different ethnic backgrounds, they're different ages, different, um, relationship status, different kind of thing. But we saw some common themes.

Ella the Virgin: 10:00

Oh, really?

Jess the Playful Domme: 10:00

The men, it was super interesting. So, um, I had an absolute blast. It was such a joy. I love working with Lisa. She's like my numero uno pussy bunny for life because, you know, you know, for and it's so great because Lisa is 60, right? So we're about to be. And so that's so cool that like, she's, she's open and she's free. And it felt empowering, both of what's possible when we're able to do our own inner work, like Lisa has. And then like, also for the men to experience what a woman's like, who is really open, and who has done her work and to see her gushing. There was a point, you know, the bubblers when you're a kid, the water fountain, literally streaming out like a water. I was right there. I was like. Six inches from her face and it like shot out at one of the guys that was massaging her and it hit him in the face and he's laughing and I'm laughing and Lisa's laughing and she's like, you know, throwing a pillow over her head and, you know, whatever. It's just, it was a joyful, fun, enlivening experience and, uh, And to see how her body responded was, was really cool.

Ella the Virgin: 11:15

So what were the takeaways from the men that you noticed that they were, there was a few commonalities, you said?

Jess the Playful Domme: 11:20

Well, I'll definitely let Lisa share what she noticed and then I'll chime in.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 11:25

Um, first of all, they were grateful for the experience, so they were grateful to be able to have the opportunity. They were very nervous. It was really suddenly. Well, yeah, even the most confident of the three.

Ella the Virgin: 11:51

Yes.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 11:53

Was a little tentative, but every single one of them, when I asked, are you open to feedback?

Ella the Virgin: 11:59

Ah,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 12:00

yes, absolutely. Tell me, tell me to,

Ella the Virgin: 12:03

okay,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 12:03

I, I was, I was really vocal and, and part of it, I was able to be more vocal with them than I've been with anybody else because I have no. I have no skin. I don't care if their feelings are hurt. They're not doing it right. They need to know. Right. And, um, one of them was saying that, you know, he's always been able to get a woman to squirt, but only with his mouth, never with his hands. And I said, it's probably likely because you're sticking your fingers inside her vagina just to reach her wetness and maybe pump her a couple of times like you would with your cock. And quite frankly, that pumping action is meant for a cock, not for fingers. It's okay, but it's when you are, um, in foreplay.

Ella the Virgin: 12:55

Yeah,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 12:55

don't mimic fucking.

Ella the Virgin: 12:58

Yeah, right.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 12:58

That's not the time you're trying. You're wanting to warm her up. And I think that, um, just really emphasize that the, the manner of play was meant to be fun and playful in order to open up. And ready the vagina for intercourse, right? So the level of recognition and one of the things I really appreciated about Jess is she vocally was saying, and this was not news to me because I'm aware of it, but they could physically see the changes in my vulva.

Ella the Virgin: 13:40

Yeah, sure.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 13:41

They were playing, right? So they could see how my, my clitoris would come out from out from underneath my hood, right?

Ella the Virgin: 13:49

Yeah.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 13:50

It was being invited out, not forced out or, you know, lured out. So the guys were really helpful. And even the most confident of the guys, the first one was saying he was, you know, nervous about the pressure. And suddenly his level of confidence was, Okay, maybe I don't know everything right and I think I even challenged him at one point, because I was like, the women may be faking it to get it over with, right, if they're not ready, and you're rough.

Ella the Virgin: 14:28

Yes.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 14:28

Women have the, what women have used in the past is oral audible clues for you. She's coming. Right. And, um, and I think that I'm not shaking anybody's confidence. He's, he's still going to be confident, but now he's more aware. Right. And now he can see what a, what a juicy pussy looks like versus a pussy that's simply available.

Ella the Virgin: 14:59

Sure. Yeah. That's great.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 15:01

You know what I mean?

Ella the Virgin: 15:01

That's really, really good.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 15:03

And I, I, yeah, I came, I probably orgasmed a dozen times with each of the three guys to get me going. And I just, uh, there was no stopping it. And then I would get up and pee and come back and it was, it was really, um, Even eyeopening for me, right? Because, and one of the things that she was emphasizing, uh, as Jess was emphasizing was a, how much could be done without any, any kind of penetration.

Ella the Virgin: 15:41

Exactly. And then when she worked with me, that was the same with my partner, it was the same kind of conversation that please notice that everything's on the outside and there's. There's no penetration. So, and even for myself as a woman, and that's why I keep touting, you know, as vanilla as I am, I didn't know that these womb massages, pussy massages existed. And it has been one of the biggest gifts in many different ways for me. Um, and that in itself, I didn't know that I could orgasm without penetration. And again, just the kindness and the gentleness and the slowness. It was like, it was to me, it was. More, um, uh, I think it was more sensitive and more, it felt so great maybe because it's never been done. Maybe because it was new. I'm not sure, but I love it. Love it. And like you said, then your, then your body just basically turns inside out, right? Your pussy becomes juicy and you can't get enough fast enough. So, um, great. What else did you, what else did you learn from the men? Did, did they, was there, were they shocked by the pressure? Because I happen to like really, I like both. But with Jess, she was able to be on the outside and very gentle and very slow, like we keep talking about. You're just going slow, go slower. Um, so that's important to me. And then again, ultimately, I mean, I, you can come in rough and hard. I like that as well. So what did you find from these guys? And

Lisa the Poly Wife: 17:12

well, both, all of them couldn't go slow enough. So what I started them timing suggestions, I said, go from the very bottom of my vaginal opening to my clit.

Ella the Virgin: 17:27

Exactly.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 17:27

But count to 15.

Ella the Virgin: 17:30

So that's awesome, Lisa, because that's the other thing, because we've talked about this, is they somehow are clit. They think it's a flicking, rubbing, awful. So yes, with, again, with my lover as well, it's like start. Down below and come up

Lisa the Poly Wife: 17:48

or even start from the top and go down, but whatever it is, however fast you're moving, I don't even want to be able to feel the movement, the progression of your, of your finger, knuckle digit, whatever, right. It's got to be imperceptible. And what I will say is what I know about my body, it's only my reaction. I can't attest to anybody else, but what I have found is you can. rev me up by higher pressure and fast movement, but I'll never come that way. So if I, at the point when I start feeling, um, like it's possible for me to come, I, I get clip weariness. Because there's too much attention to the clit. And I'll say, lighten the pressure, lighten the pressure, down, slow down. And the minute they get their fingers off of my clit and just feather touch any part of my area, that's when the gush starts, right? It becomes so sensitive from, it's as though it's more of an elect, it's more of an electricity between, Two very close touching entities, then it is actual contact. It's the, it's the energy that passes between finger and pussy that ends up making me come, but not the actual necessarily physical pressure or touch. So it was really, it was really fascinating. Every single one of them was grateful for the advice to slow down. And the practice. To slow down because even when I said, slow down, slow down, slow down at some, at one point I grabbed, um, the young one's hand, he had of the three, the energy in his hands, he lacked my, he, he, he lacked confidence. Right. But his hands held the energy of confidence, right? He, the pressure was perfect. Instinctively, he knew how to touch me. He just needed to learn to slow down, but everything else was really perfect. And with him, he's not even 30 yet. So let's assume he hasn't had a lot of experience. His, his touch was sure. And that felt great. Not insistent, not. Confident in the way, you know, uh, an alpha male might be more confident than he deserves to be. That kind of. Yeah, sure. Yeah. He really did it. He did an amazing job. And jess, what did I say to him? I said, it was, I complimented him on his time. Remember what I said?

Jess the Playful Domme: 20:52

Something yet. Tender.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 20:53

Sensuous and tender. Sensuous yet tender.

Ella the Virgin: 20:56

Sensuous and tender. Oh my.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 20:57

of him was tender.

Jess the Playful Domme: 21:00

Was it seductive? Seductive yet tender?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 21:02

Seductive yet tender. Yeah, it was, it was an S word for sure. And it was, and he, and his touch was tender at the, yeah, it was, it was hot. So, and all of them were fantastic. And one of the things I think that we might work on, uh, in, in the future is, is, uh, Helping the men recognize that their physical comfort level is also really important because they're going to be there for a while. We want them to be comfortable enough to be there for a while. Right. And Jess and every single one of them commented that they needed better core strength. They were not able to sit. So I'm assuming that Jess sat with kind of almost scissored with you. Um, not quite scissored, but she sat facing you and your legs over hers or over yours and access to your pussy. Most of the men were not able to sit up comfortably for a long period of time in that position. So There's, there's a way in which I don't want them to feel like it can't, it isn't possible if they're not in that position, that their comfort is important too. So if they have to lie down on one side and, you know, sort of manipulate and play, it's, um, it can be worked out. And, uh, but Jess's hand, uh, Jess's touch is a miracle too, right? Her, her, her massage was Fantastic. And

Ella the Virgin: 22:46

yeah,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 22:48

different, mainly because her fingers and her hands are smaller. So it's easier for her to, you know, basically grab my lips and pull them and manipulate them. And I was pretty slippery, not gonna, not gonna lie. So the bigger fisted, bigger hand handed men, it was a little bit more challenging for them to sort of grab my anatomy.

Ella the Virgin: 23:14

Mm hmm. Interesting.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 23:15

Yeah, and I have full lips, right? So it was, um, it was fun. And I, and again, it was just like, the idea is to just play, right? So if you can't pull the outer lips, and none of them realized that there was very little feeling on the outer lips, that the endings are not as smooth. Um, active, not active. They don't exist on the outer lips. I had said that one of the ways in which I had played before was to have my outer lips, um, uh, pinched with clothespins, and it doesn't hurt. I don't feel it, right? It doesn't hurt. So it was really fun for them to take time to really explore the differences in the anatomy, the outer lips, the inner lips. How to manipulate the clip from the exterior without actually touching the hood, the head of the clip.

Ella the Virgin: 24:10

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, got it. Priceless.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 24:17

It is priceless, and it actually. really inspired me to want to give more yoni massages. So in my sensual massage practice, I'm interested in, um, not focusing on, but definitely encouraging yoni massage as much as, um, male sensual massage, because I believe every woman should experience this.

Ella the Virgin: 24:43

Yeah, for sure.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 24:45

Also, if you were nothing else to teach them how to be communicative and responsive during an experience, um, with a man.

Ella the Virgin: 24:56

So I think, I think what I learned, you know, again, I think I've had two with Jess, three, three with Jess. And what I learned is, um, through, through her coaching with this on a male central massage, my hands have gotten, I think, Very good. But what I didn't, what I realized just recently is especially with working with her and just having her massage is that I can actually touch myself as well. So again, I'm much more vanilla. So I have the same, I can, I can rub a man just like I can rub myself. And so I've actually done, we've done more of that. So even during intercourse, right, to be able to go ahead and make myself feel good again, like you go, you know, next to my clit, you know, and rub there, I wouldn't have done that before. So it's been really, really good kind of adding the two, the two elements for me, because I didn't know. I mean, I didn't know that that was capable, but I was capable of doing that and the pleasure of that.

Jess the Playful Domme: 25:52

That is so, so awesome. I loved hearing that so much for you, Ella. I, I think one of the things, too, I was thinking about it too, Lise, is making the sessions at the private masterclasses actually two hours long, so that there's a full hour where men are learning how to massage the body. Because it's a whole love act, it's a whole act of intimacy, the whole thing, you know, and so teaching the men how to slow down, how to use more of their body, how it's not just the hands that are on the back, but it's their forearms, it's their chest is draping over them and, and, you know, for them to, you know, lay on top of, of her when she's laying face down, and just to feel that comfort and. So it's, it's sweet. I love seeing them at they're eager, eager. They're so eager and they're earnest and they want to get it right. And they came humbled, even though like, you know, some of them are like, you know, they, they, they know what they're doing to some degree, but they still came humbled and like, it was so, so cool. And yeah, I noticed that they. I really did need to slow down and also to Lisa's point, what are other ways to make them comfortable, more positions? Cause I'm just, to me, sitting straight up is the most comfortable thing for me, for my back, for my stomach, but for men, they can't do that. And then when I do this move where I'm, I'm sliding my whole torso, like in my arms up someone's body and then pulling them back down. And that that's a. That's a challenging move for men to make. So, um,

Ella the Virgin: 27:38

interesting.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 27:38

And also because men May not have a sensitivity to being tender and on top. I felt that they were self conscious about the weight of themselves, not that they were overweight or anything, but it was awkward for them to move up my body and slide up my body. They really were keeping their distance, their physicality difference. They were just all of them were really just moving. from the bottom of my, on my, when I was on my stomach. So there was no possibility of impropriety or slipping and hurting me in any way. It was just that, but they kept only their hands on my back and were reticent to slide their forearms, elbows, and bodies up my back. And I think in a couple of cases, it was, um, because they were self conscious about the size because. Compared to actually all three of them, I'm quite small, bigger than Jess is, but I'm still small comparatively with them and I feel like they felt a little self conscious about their weight on me. And I was like, Nope, you can lie right on top of me, go right ahead. But I have a feeling that the ways in which they might have lain on top of a woman before was as a sexual intercourse position. I don't know.

Ella the Virgin: 29:06

Sure. It makes sense. Yeah. And I, yeah, and I, and I think for guests that are listening, that move that Jess does is one of the most, um, comforting moves ever. I mean, it actually has moved me to tears every single time. It is, it is, uh, it is the most special move ever. And to have your partner be able to do that, to have a man be able to do that. would be, it would be off the charts. So that's an interesting answer.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 29:34

Yes, I think you're right. I think an hour would be good because it will take them a little bit more practice to use their forearms and elbows because they've never, well, they have with you, but they haven't in most men's general lives don't experience a consciousness of that in giving.

Ella the Virgin: 29:51

Yeah, sure.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 29:52

Definitely not in giving. So, um, it might be a new concept to them and it would take them a little, a few practices to be able to do it.

Ella the Virgin: 30:02

So at the end,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 30:02

no, go ahead. I was, I was changing subjects. Go ahead.

Ella the Virgin: 30:06

Okay. At the end of it, what was their, were they, were they quiet? What did they have some insight? I mean, what was the feedback from them? Have you guys heard anything?

Jess the Playful Domme: 30:20

So there was feedback at the time. So I was doing check ins throughout the experience, like, so what did you learn on this? And what did, what stood out for you here? And, you know, the, I think the overwhelming arch was they just had no clue about how much they could accomplish with external massage and like all that's there and that's not even incorporating external massage with oral like that's a whole other whole other world that we didn't i don't do oral so i'm not i'm not teaching it but for them to have those kind of foundational pieces and also for them to learning how to go slow. And I'm, and I'm showing them, I'm like, do you see when you go really slow, you can watch her body rise up. Cause she's exhale. She's like really taking some deep breaths. She's coming. And I was, I was trying to like help them understand that, you know, women are really vigilant. We've got a thousand things on our mind. So for you to like help her drop in and say like, Hey babe, go, go have a glass of wine and pour yourself a bath and I'm going to make some food and you know, whatever. And then I'm going to give you a massage. And really having it about her and the relaxation. And I think that was kind of like a switch for them, too. Is that, like, they're not doing it in order to get sex. Ah. They're not doing it as like, Oh, this is just a stepping stone. That they're getting to experience what it's like to just give for the sake of giving, for the sake of love, you know, for the sake of helping her open up, for the sake of helping her relax. And like, and not having that end goal or the ulterior motive, the unspoken ulterior motive that really throws women off and keeps them on a sense of danger. And, and Lisa also said. Because I know that we're not going to have sex and I'm just going to be receiving, then I can really let go. I don't have to try to save some energy or juices for sex. Like, I really can let it all flow. And she did. I mean, she was a fucking puddle. I had a waterproof sheet. I had a whole waterproof sheet. And it was like a puddle. She had to add a waterproof pad that she has. I was adding pads. I mean, it was like, but it was glorious. It's so fascinating. And I love. I love seeing how women's pussies like open up. It's like it comes alive and like that's a thing too, where it's, it's miraculous. You know, yours did that, Ella Uhhuh, Lisa. So just to like, so for me as a practitioner to, to watch and observe this like unfolding, it's like this. Beautiful flower that just like totally opens up and changes color and gets fuller and eager. And it's like, when a woman is so turned on, like her inside, like moves forward to greet the person at the door, you know, it's so different. Cause I've, I've felt women when they're not turned on. I've, I've done womb work and done internal work when they're not like super juicy. Oh my God. They, when they are juicy, they're just. Like the inside of that, like, it's like everything just moves forward. It's fascinating to feel it. It's all so much like right there. And I, I loved it.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 33:41

I'll tell you something, Jess, I don't, I, I don't know that a lot of women, certainly in my demographic, I'm going to say no, that they can get that juicy either.

Ella the Virgin: 33:55

I agree with you a hundred percent.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 33:56

And I feel like it would be beneficial for Women to witness what it's like to see a woman. Enjoying that experience. I, you know, this is fascinating for men and it's great from here's the, the, the, the problem with teaching men how to do this is they really do need to be with partners who are willing to let go. And I feel as a 50 something woman that It has taken me 50, 40 something years to understand what my body is capable of. And I have never had, um, orgasms like I'm having now since I've let go of my embarrassment about my body or my self shame, my lack of confidence, my, you know, the, the fact of the matter is my being polyamorous and Having these relationships with men and in many cases, um, uh, long distance relationships with men is like, I know what my pussy looks like. Why? Because I take pictures of it all the time to send to my, to not all the time, but you know what I mean? I have. So, but most women have no idea and they're too uncurious.

Ella the Virgin: 35:30

Yeah, for sure.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 35:31

They know what it looks like for themselves, just for themselves, not to show it to anybody else. The only person who knows, the only people who know what my next door neighbor's pussy looks like is her gynecologist and her husband. That's it.

Ella the Virgin: 35:44

I was like,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 35:45

people of Siena are naked and I don't know that and I remember in the 70s. I can't remember who it was probably Gloria Steinem or somebody was like take a mirror and spread your legs and look at your pussy and it was this whole movement. Get together in their living rooms and look at their pussies. But I think it was still sort of like a, okay, I'll do it. But this sort of willingness to open ourselves up is I think an experience that women haven't had and deserve to witness because, um, um, I know for myself, I don't feel capable of doing anything until I see somebody else do it. And I'm like, well, if they can do it, I can do it. And often even in the kink world is I haven't liked, I haven't wanted to explore anything that I wanted to explore until somebody came into my life and said, Oh my God, I absolutely love being tied up. Really?

Ella the Virgin: 36:51

Okay. Okay. I'll try that.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 36:53

Oh my gosh. I love being flogged. No, I can't, I can't even possibly know it couldn't happen. And then, and, and then I watched it and I saw that she was laughing and enjoying all of the things, right? Everything I had tried, I have tried because somebody else enjoyed it. First, and I could see their joy in it and I was like, I want to experience it. I want to at least experience it so that I know for myself that I don't like it.

Ella the Virgin: 37:20

Yeah. Well, and, and to your point, you know, up until I saw Jess, um, you know, my, my partner and I saw Jess, I was one of those, I mean, I didn't see myself, another woman had never seen me, you know, other than like you said, my gynecologist, it was because you're having a baby. And again, through the process of being open to another woman for me. I mean, that's, to me, it's one of the most vulnerable places to be. And again, you know, Jess's, you know, gentle touch and her, her, her beautiful comments, just like she would, would normally just her, right. I was like, Oh, okay. You know, and again, to feel the body and kind of talking about what was going on. And then I couldn't wait to get back again to see if I could feel it again. And I still feel like that now. And again, she taught my partner and myself so much about my body. That I didn't even know existed. So then trying to take what she did all on the outside and saying, okay, can you try this? Can we see if this can happen? Because it feels incredible. Incredible. Um, I am super grateful and super thankful and I'm completely open now. I am completely open. Um, you know, we've talked in the past about, you know, I had some reservations as well as being a woman and being with men. Not that I've been a super proof, but I've been conservative, right? I like, I like the, I like the windows open, like the light shining in lots of light, full open. I mean, I'm like right there, right? Just like, come on, you know, because it's a great juicy. Experience of just playing and, and I've been through this journey and we talk about parameters, you know, and, and, uh, boundaries. I found that my boundaries personally and sexually are showing up and I just say, I don't like that. Let's try it this way. I am so proud of that. You have no idea, but it's also gone into my everyday world as well. So, um, ah, it's been an incredible journey. I, I don't know. And I agree with you. I would love to sit in on a session with you so I can see what happens. I don't know what I can feel what happens to my body, but I would love to see what happens in a, you know, in another woman's body. Why not?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 39:32

Right.

Jess the Playful Domme: 39:33

Ella, I'm so curious. I'm so curious about, you mentioned, I want to, I would love the listeners to hear more about what you just said about how it's also translated and filtered into your everyday life. That's so curious.

Ella the Virgin: 39:46

Yeah. You know, um, I, I was actually, a good friend of mine was telling me actually, and you mentioned it too, that I'm, I'm very, it's very emotional. And to me, you know, I'm like, Oh my God. Oh my God, I had the squirrels out of the box. And there's, there's a spectrum of being emotional, but I, I love to care about people. Um, and I love to help that's, that's just generally my nature, but because of what you showed me again, and the constant conversations, I have a definite, yes, this works indefinitely. No, this does not work. So even with some of my employees, not, not sleeping with my employees, but you know, the, the, the, the, you know, they're pushing boundaries. You know, at work and I'm like, Nope, that's not working. Or, and I had some horse, you know, people that were boarding horses at my place. Nope, that's not working. And you can go ahead and go please. And it's really simple like that. Um, you know, it's, although it's hard on me cause I'm still that emotional care, it's like, Nope, it's not serving me anymore. So maybe I've become, this is not necessarily the best word, but, um, more, um, selfish. in wanting, uh, people that are giving back and things for myself, like, like this. Um,

Jess the Playful Domme: 41:00

I've never had it before

Ella the Virgin: 41:01

taking the time.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 41:03

Oh, I'm going to make the argument that it's not selfish. It's clear.

Ella the Virgin: 41:07

It's clear. And it's care self caring and

Lisa the Poly Wife: 41:11

it's self care, but it's also caring for the other person. Evan and I had a difficult conversation on Monday night and he started feeling really. Badly. He thought, Oh my God, I'm fucking everything up. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're just seeing how it's not working. And the, and my ability to be vulnerable and come to you and say that it's not working all you should be celebrating because what it means is I want to keep you closer, which is why I'm telling you how my boundary is being broken. And I, I need you to step back. back out of it or in it, whichever direction I need you to be in. And he was like, Oh, okay. So our pattern of Him doing something, me giving him feedback and him feeling crappy. All he does is self hate, self shame and lower self esteem in the past. Right. And this time he understood there's like, no, the feedback I'm giving you is I want you closer. So I'm telling you how to do it best so that you can be close to me because that's ultimately what I want. And he was like, I get it now. Let's do it. So I feel like women, I think that I have And you, Ella, if I may be so bold as to speak to you, have found our voices and are willing to say, not just found our voices, first of all, we figured out what we wanted and we can keep people close if we tell them how it is that We're not happy. The reason we're telling, we're saying we're not happy is because we want to be happy with that person. I have, I have another friend who, um, is a manager. I worked for him when he was a brand new manager and he wasn't a great new, he wasn't a great manager. And we were, I haven't worked for him for years. And now he, now his department is enormous instead of very small. And he instituted a. Policy of feedback and he designed the feedback, um, in a very specific way and the, the way he puts it, and these are people that he works with, he says, if I'm coming to you to give you feedback, the assumption is you're here, you're not being fired. The feedback is to keep you feedback is being given to you either as praise. or as a reconsideration of how you may have done something. Um, you alphabetized all of the people in the spreadsheet. That was really helpful and it made it very easy for me to find that person. Thank you so much. Could you make sure that you do that moving forward? That's feedback. First of all, he asked for permission to give feedback, which I thought was important. It's the thing that I miss all the time. Um, and then he gives feedback. And so. It's the same thing with boundaries. We have the b we, the assumption is I want to be in relationship with you. The only reason I'm giving you feedback is in order to keep you. That's

Ella the Virgin: 44:25

beautifully said,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 44:26

not to push you away. And I feel like we have been trained to believe that feedback is negative criticism, saying with some way we're bad, sick and wrong. And we, we, we, I have. I realized that and lived it over and over in my head. The truth is, is, Oh, well, thanks for giving me a course correction because that course means I'm not going to make that same mistake again, because I don't want, I want to be here. I want to be in this relationship at this job, whatever. And I was really, um, that was a way in which, eh, boundaries translates into the workplace in this, that feedback is about. Moving forward. Then we forget the past. The past doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what are we going to do moving forward?

Ella the Virgin: 45:15

Yeah, that's beautifully said,

Lisa the Poly Wife: 45:16

right?

Ella the Virgin: 45:17

Yeah. Beautifully said. Yeah. Very good.

Jess the Playful Domme: 45:25

Well, this has been such an amazing conversation and I thank you both so much for sharing your, you know, personal experiences and your enthusiasm and there's, I feel like there's a, there's A little bit of a movement happening, like it started with Ella, like keeping that fire going. And then, you know, Lisa coming in and it's just like, you're right. Women, women do deserve to feel good and they deserve to feel safe to let go and to experience pleasure. And the very fact that it can be done in a way where it's not sexual, where, you know, it can be purely for the woman's is really profound and healing. So. I look forward to, you know, the expansion of what we do and our offerings and sharing in our events and experiences because yeah, we can get more women turned on one woman at a time and see how they change their lives. It's super powerful. So thank you all so much for listening. Can't wait to talk to you soon. Bye for now. Want more? Head over to the playfulpodcast. com for all the juicy things we have to offer. From there you can join our community where you can get access to after hours, attend upcoming workshops and events, and even book a session. Bye for now.